School Update

I will start this post off by saying, I SWEAR I WILL POST PICTURES OF CALI'S FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! I plan on making good on my promise tonight once I get my kids to sleep (or in Noah's case, possibly PUT him to sleep).

So, we all survived Cali's first few days of school. I had truly been dreading the start of school for weeks (all summer to be honest). For some reason I just do not feel ready for Cali to be in school. I love being able to get off work early and pick them up at 1:00; if I'm working in town I want to be able to pick them up from Shanna's and take them out for lunch for an hour or so. Now that she is in school, this has all changed.

I will preface this post by admitting that I am a compete and utter lunatic....Enjoy.


Cali was very excited for her first day. I wanted everything to be perfect for her, so I stayed up all night practicing on her lunch. I was so concerned the spaghetti that I packed wasn't going to stay hot, or that she wasn't going to be able to open the containers that I packed.

Morning (sadly) came, and I woke her up and tried to act really excited about everything. She picked out her own outfit, decided how she wanted to wear her hair, and off we went. Well, she had to reorganize her lunchbox, but then, off we went to school. As I parked and walked in with her, I realized I wasn't going to be able to make it. I put my sunglasses back on so she wouldn't be able to see my cry.

I was so worried.

Would she like school?

Would she like her teacher?

Would she like the lunch I packed?

What will she do when "rest time" rolls around?

Finally I realized I had to just get out of there. I brought in my camera so I could take some pictures of her inside, but I just couldn't do it. We put her book bag and lunchbox in her room and headed down to the art room where all the younger kids go in the am's before school. All this time I am a complete wreck. I kissed her and off I went.

I bawled until noon that day. I know I work and don't usually see Cali most days, but I felt lost without her.

I picked her up after school on the first day and she was SOOOO upset that I didn't let her ride the bus home. I tried explaining to her that it was the first day and that I really wanted to spend some time with her and hear how her day went. She obviously didn't care as she told me how much she "hated me and that I was the worst human being ever because I didn't let her ride with her friends" :)

Today was her 3rd day of school and I think she likes it for the most part. I think that being there all day in a HUGE adjustment for her and she has asked a couple of times if she can go half days.

As for me, I am doing a little better :) I only shed a few tears the second day and only a few more today (after Cali wouldn't let me walk her inside this am) :) I will admit though that as I watched Cali get off the bus this afternoon it kind of broke my heart. She is growing up so fast and I can hardly believe it.

So........that's how the first few days of school have wrapped up.

PS- don't worry about me. I'm sure this is nothing that Xanax and therapy can't clear up :)